Why I Don’t Ever Cook

Yesterday morning I woke up and was all excited about making some eggs (sunny side up) and a bagel. I usually take the easy road and make a bowl cereal, but I wanted a change. So I got out the pan and the carton of eggs and went to work. I sprayed the pan and broke my first egg into the pan. Yoke did not break on me…..so far, so good. I got the bagel going in the toaster as well. Then I went to break the second egg and couldn’t get it. I kept adding cracks and still nothing. The egg felt a little odd and I just kept picturing a dead baby chick falling out into my pan. If you are reading this, you are probably shaking your head at that. I put that egg back and tried another and it was the same result. Then I looked closely at the carton and saw that Julie had sectioned off an area and wrote “Boiled” next to it, inside the carton. Wish I had seen this earlier.

I went to the fridge and found another carton of eggs and pulled that out. Julie likes to save the shells in the carton rather than throw them away, so it wasn’t a full carton either. At this time, the first egg was almost done so I decided not to make another. I also put the bagels in longer to stay warm as the egg finished. In the meantime, I condensed all the eggs into one carton and got rid of the shells. The eggs was then ready, but I was having trouble getting it out of the pan. I don’t think I sprayed it completely. I finally got it out with minimal damage to the yolk, and that’s when the bagels popped up….burnt. Wonderful. I sat down and ate my disappointing and semi-disgusting breakfast, dreaming of the next morning when I would have cereal.

However, as it turns out, I tried again today and succeeded. Yesterday was an off day for many things, but the truth is I can’t coordinate meals very well. Not that I don’t multitask with other things (I can never focus on one thing on the computer, for instance), it’s just the kitchen is definitely not a place I can do it.


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